Have you tried every diet you can imagine and been cycling ‘on’ and ‘off’ diets for years? Not much fun, is it? When we all set out as independent adults, I can bet that most of us didn’t dream of being in the constant pursuit of the perfect diet. Or of the amount of money and time spent on products and programmes to shed a few pounds.

At the time of writing, we are living in a kind of limbo land between lockdown and “the new normal”. With a whole variety of completely mixed and natural reactions to the situation, many women have either found themselves eating in “emergency mode”, seeking out ways to eat more healthily to stay well or anything in between. Every different approach is perfectly understandable.

But, as a little weight gain has been hard to avoid for many, it’s also natural to be starting to wonder what to do now! Mums often ask me what the best diet is, so let’s dive in and find out.

Firstly, there tend to be two different uses of the word diet, and the distinction is important. In nutrition science, the word diet simply refers to typical intake of different foods for any person or group of people. This could be a cultural or geographical diet, or it could be influenced by health requirements or a preference for a particular style of eating.

The word diet as we tend to think of it more commonly, is associated with a very set and controlled way of eating. It could be designed with the aim of losing weight, gaining weight, changing body composition or for a particular health issue. Many of these diets may indeed lead to meeting a goal, but dieting this way often has some setbacks:

• In many cases, diets make it impossible for people to eat their favourite meals and treats

• The whole mindset of being “on a diet” immediately leaves us feeling that we are missing out. As soon as you put restrictions in and use words such as ‘can’t’ or ‘not allowed’, it is natural for us to rebel against these new rules imposed on us and start looking for loopholes to get some freedom back

• Products designed to replace food, or our favourite treats are often artificial, lacking in nutrients and potentially more harmful than the food they replace

• These products can be expensive and potentially dangerous

• Socialising and eating out can become more difficult, more stressful and the joy of meeting up with loved ones is overshadowed by worrying about the food

• Preparing for another diet can involve a lot of time planning, shopping for different food products and trying to get your head around the rules.

• In susceptible individuals, dieting can encourage disordered eating behaviours and contribute to mental illness

• Many diets are unrealistic, overly restrictive, bland and hard to keep up for several weeks or months

• Every time we “fail” or fall off the wagon, our motivation and confidence take a real knocking

• This often results in a rebound effect where all self-control goes out of the window, and we’re back to square one!

It’s also worth considering that fat has a few very important jobs to do. One of them is to store toxins, walling them off so that they can’t wreak havoc elsewhere in the body. So if we release a lot of fat from our cells very suddenly, we often end up with the “detox effect” and it’s not pretty!

Symptoms may range between headaches, mild or severe cold or flu-like symptoms, skin breakouts, mood swings, anxiety and agitation. Did anyone else experience the delightful halitosis effect in the early noughties, courtesy of Dr Atkins?

WHAT CAN I DO INSTEAD?

Firstly, it’s worth bearing in mind that as a grown adult, you have the right to decide what is right for you, and that intentionally or unintentionally, you create your own reality. If you allow other people’s rules to dictate how you eat, the value of your self-worth, and whether you are getting it “right” or “wrong”, then you’re letting these beliefs and rules put limitations on your way of living.

Is there a better way? Absolutely!

First, let’s work on your WHY. If you have been dieting to look better, to be accepted by other people or because somebody else has told you to, these reasons all suggest that you may need to take some time to work on your self-worth. No matter what you have been led to believe in your life, you deserve to enjoy life with confidence, be comfortable being you and surrounded by people that love you and make you feel great.

If you feel that you are lacking any of these really important aspects in your life, it may be worth exploring how you feel about your life as it currently is and what you could do to make it better. If you despair at the thought of this, know that feeling better is achievable but it is likely that it will be a slow process with lots of baby steps.

There are plenty of options open to you to help you on your way to making these changes. Confiding in someone you can trust is a great start – it’s important that you don’t work on this completely on your own. Finding a good counsellor or therapist may help you to gradually make sense of your situation and empower you to start speaking assertively and be kinder to yourself. A journal can help you to put your thoughts and feelings onto paper and get some clarity.

Using self-care to remind yourself that you do matter is really important. Whether that involves meditation, gentle exercise, getting more sleep, some pampering or just taking time away to do something that you really enjoy – it’s completely up to you. As you start to do more for yourself, you will start to feel more confidence as you are reinforcing your self-worth. And getting some time out is pretty good for you too!

Now back to that WHY. If you have a lot of weight to lose or are battling with chronic pain or an illness aggravated by lifestyle and diet, losing weight is of course a way of relieving your discomfort and supporting your health. And we will talk about the HOW shortly. But first, let’s think about what contributed to your weight gain in the first place. There could be so many reasons. Some are medical and may have been very difficult to prevent, for example taking certain medication or health issues, such as an underactive thyroid.

Whether the weight gain was unavoidable, or happened because of certain life events or your upbringing, in any case you are likely to benefit from some support. Getting your mindset working for you rather than against you, setting yourself up for success is vital. Having the self-belief that you can achieve your goals and that you deserve to feel great is more important than any diet programme.

Have you ever wondered why “healthy” people consistently make good food choices? It is likely that these are some of the reasons:

• They have connected healthy natural foods with feeling better, and know which foods make them feel worse

• They see the bigger picture – that overall a healthy diet will support their health and give them a better future

• If they weren’t always healthy, at some point in their life they have decided to repeatedly choose healthier food options until it became habit

Does that sound boring? You may be surprised that the healthy option isn’t all about rabbit food and weird-flavoured “super foods”. Far from it! Food should be tasty, something we enjoy eating with our loved ones and get excited about cooking. And a healthy diet isn’t necessarily about a treat free, fun free carousel of samey meals either.

SO, BACK TO THE ORIGINAL QUESTION: WHAT IS THE BEST DIET?

If you set aside the discussion over finding a good reason to eat well, let’s for a moment consider what a good diet actually does for us. With the right balance of different types of food, we can aim to get enough carbohydrates, proteins, fats, vitamins and minerals. We need all of these to function, stay healthy, fit, alive and have children. While some fad diets may come and go, one diet that often ranks highly for meeting all the above requirements for Europeans is the traditional Mediterranean diet.

You may associate the Mediterranean diet with heaps of pasta, pizza and four course lunches, which might necessitate a little lie down after. But that’s not the traditional form of the diet! We are looking at the way of eating that worked well for hundreds of years, before food was mass produced and shipped across continents. Traditionally, food was grown and sourced locally, in season, and not processed in factories. It would have consisted of a large quantity and variety of plant foods, lots of brightly coloured fruits and veg, some whole grains, good fats and small amounts of fish, meat and dairy.

OK, so we don’t all live in places where we can easily source all of our food locally and in season. Supermarkets will continue to be a very convenient way of providing food, and the fact that they offer foods which do not grow locally does offer a benefit, because it does allow us to have more variety. But, we can aim for a middle road, one between following the principles of the Traditional Mediterranean Diet and having a realistic diet that still allows us to enjoy everything in moderation.

Moving away from measuring everything, calorie counting and relying on packaged foods that promise some kind of dietary benefit, convenience, or both, is a start. Using the nine steps below, will help you to gradually improve your eating habits, without making eating for a healthy weight something that controls your life and steals your joy.

HOW TO HAVE A HEALTHY DIET FOR LIFE

1. Make Changes Gradually – Forget “the diet starts tomorrow” trend, it’s so last decade! Every diet that uses this approach sets you up to fail. You don’t have to overhaul your kitchen in one go. Start with one small change, pick any from the steps below and get used to it. Take your time and be really proud of every single change that you manage to make stick. You’ve got this.

2. Drink Lots of Water – Keep hydrated, as much as possible with water rather than fizzy or sweet drinks. Even the sugar free drinks wreak havoc with your blood sugar balance. It may take time to retrain your taste buds, but they will get used to it! Teas and coffees count, just add an extra glass for each cup of coffee and try to keep to 1-3 caffeinated drinks a day max.

3. Limit Alcohol – OK, don’t stop reading just yet - I said limit, not cut out! Reducing the frequency and amount of alcoholic drinks you have each week can do wonders for your health, ideally at least 4-5 days alcohol free a week is a good goal to build up to.

4. Choose Complex Carbohydrates – These are your sources of energy, and they release more slowly into your bloodstream than simple carbohydrates. So less of the simple carbs such as refined sugar, white bread, pasta, rice etc and more wholegrain bread and pasta, oats, brown rice. You could try swapping sweet potato in for white potato and explore other whole grains such as quinoa, spelt, rye and buckwheat

5. Eat Plenty of Fruit and Veg – We’re told to aim for 5 a day, but many people don’t manage 5. If you can increase to 5, work your way up to 7! Eat the rainbow with lots of different colours, use fruit and veg as snacks too and work towards filling half your plate with veg. You can do it!

6. Have Protein with Every Meal and Snack – Protein will stop you from feeling peckish all the time, plus you need it for immunity, recovery from injury, your skin, even to think clearly! Go for fresh, minimally processed forms such as meats, eggs, good quality dairy, nuts, seeds, beans and lentils.

7. Use Good Quality Fats – Fat is not the enemy, if you eat the right types! Include some oily fish each week if you like it, then use good quality olive, nut and coconut oils, nuts and seeds. And some good quality butter and natural yogurt is pretty good, and don’t stress over eggs – they’re full of protein, vitamins and minerals.

8. Minimise Processed Food – This is the trick that nearly all diets miss – if you fill your plate with the right nutrients, you never need to calorie count or find diet products. By making most of your food come from the categories above, you will eat more real food and less of the stuff that’s full of sugar, additives and things on the ingredients list that are impossible to pronounce.

9. Have Treats Occasionally – It’s all about moderation. Sometimes the homemade all butter brownie, is better than any diet imitation than you can buy from the shop. It’s no wonder people give up on the synthetic, lacking in flavour, low-nutrient diet products and end up gorging on what they really want! Go for quality and really savour your treats rather than eating them whilst distracted. You can also find recipes to try making your own healthier versions of your favourite treats, such as with coconut nectar, pure maple syrup or dates.

If you work to the principals above, you can start to fine tune what you are eating, one small change at a time. Be realistic about how quickly you can make changes, but also know that you can achieve your goals if you work towards them consistently.

Got any questions? Feel free to book onto one of my free phone consultations.

Stay well x