If your stress levels have become overwhelming or are causing you to have physical symptoms such as IBS, Acid Reflux, high blood pressure, head aches or other aches and pains, this blog will offer you some strategies to help.
Stress can be neutral, positive or negative. While a little stress can encourage growth, adaptation and progress (such as with exercise that you enjoy), too much stress can affect countless functions in the body such as high cortisol and adrenaline, suppressing production of sex hormones, raised blood pressure, fatigue and mental ill-health.
What often tends to put physical stress on our bodies is often the product of what happens in our heads. The human brain is the most sophisticated thinking machine on Earth, but boy are we good at inventing problems for ourselves!
Self-care is key to building up some resilience to daily challenges that can be interpreted as stress. A good first step is to make sure that you eat well to support a healthy brain and body.
Food for a Healthy Body and Mind
Lots of water, teas and moderate amounts of caffeinated drinks
Minimal sugar and avoid artificial sweeteners
Protein with every meal
Oily fish
Nuts, especially walnuts
Dark berries
Very dark chocolate – yay!
Lots of veggies, especially leafy greens
Tryptophan-rich foods (these help to make happy and sleep hormones!) – these include cherries, strawberries, dairy products, oats, nuts, soy and poultry
What Else Can I Do About Stress?
You cannot take away all stress triggers in your life – many things that happen are not within our control. But working on resilience to cope with all of your day-to-day challenges will make a big difference to how your body responds to stress.
When you are overwhelmed, over-committed, overburdened or overworked, doing anything about your stress levels can seem insurmountable.
But like many other recommendations I make to clients, baby steps and trying one little thing at a time can help you on your way. When you have little successes and notice how those little things can make you feel good, you will start to see a way through any difficult aspects of your life and feel motivated to move on to slightly bigger steps, and so on.
One thing to remember is that when you have others to care for or responsibility that affects other people, the impact of stress can make you less effective, less tolerant and have less of the energy you need. So, looking after yourself benefits everyone else because you become the best version of yourself for those around you.
If you can find one thing to try from the options below, start there and before you know it you may have built in a few of these as non-negotiables to feel better in yourself and stay well:
1. ASK FOR HELP
If you’re fearful or ashamed of admitting you cannot do everything, you are far from alone. But everyone has their limits and regularly pushing yourself past what feels comfortable to cope with mentally, emotionally, or physically can lead to burnout.
People often want to be of help but do not always know how to offer it or what you need. It may be that friends or relatives are not only happy to help, but would get the feel-good effect of being helpful too. Even if you think something is too much to ask, put everything you need help with down onto paper. Then be specific about what someone can help you with (what, when, how, why) and you may be pleasantly surprised at the outcome.
What happens if they say no? Well, they could. But equally you have the right to say no to things that don’t work for you either. If they say no, it’s not about you, but about them and what’s going on in their life. But don’t give up! Speak to other people you trust, or perhaps the timing might have been off and the person you asked will be ready to help another time.
2. GET THOUGHTS ONTO PAPER
If your head is always swimming with worries, tasks and dilemmas, journalling is a good way to get some of those thoughts out of your head. You can use bullet points, a mind map, full sentences, poetry, or any style that makes sense to you. Lists may be another way to make sure you do not forget anything without using too much mental energy on it.
3. EXPERIMENT WITH MINDFULNESS
Although the idea of mindfulness or meditation can seem a little niche, the act of mindfulness is simply being fully present in any part of your day. In other words, giving something your full, undivided attention. This could be your morning shower, eating, walking, doing a chore, a lecture, conversation or taking in your surroundings.
Every time your mind wanders off to thoughts, you bring yourself back to the present moment, using your senses. Your brain is designed to think – a lot! So be kind to yourself when it naturally goes off into thought.
The magic of using mindfulness is that over time, you can catch yourself in unhelpful thought threads and bring yourself back to the present moment more quickly. This leads to less rumination and creating problems in your imagination, which can be pretty draining.
4. MOVEMENT
Any form of movement that feels good to you is a great way to release tension and clear your mind. If it feels unrealistic to fit 45 minute or hour-long sessions in where you are at, starting with getting up from your desk every 30 minutes and doing some gentle stretches may be manageable. If you feel drawn to certain types of activity such as a brisk walk, yoga, pilates, martial arts, running, dance or any other type of movement, then work with what you are going to love. Even some vigorous housework or gardening counts, although that’s not everyone’s idea of fun!
5. BE HONEST ABOUT HOW YOU FEEL AND YOUR LIMITS
This can involve a process of building up to a conversation. Take your time and write down what you need to say. Give yourself plenty of time to think about the best way to get yours points across. If you have a safe person to rehearse your conversation with, then you can find the best way to say what you need to in an assertive but non-confrontational way.
6. TAKE BREAKS
A good way to help this to happen is to plan and schedule breaks, whether they are a few minutes, up to a couple of hours or even a day off. And not just from your work or study – it’s important to take breaks from being a main carer, spending time around people that take up a lot of your energy, from technology and from being on the go.
These breaks could be as simple as stopping what you’re doing and spending a few minutes sitting, lying or standing somewhere quiet, taking yourself away to somewhere else or going for a walk.
7. NOTICE YOUR BREATHING
You may have noticed that your breathing tends to change when you are stressed. The great thing however is that by becoming aware of the change in your breathing, you can learn how to make subtle changes to your breathing pattern to calm your mind and body.
You can start first by observing how your body feels when you breathe, when you are in a safe place on your own and with minimal distractions. Make a mental note of how your mind feels. Then gently try to extend your exhale, or breathe a little deeper into your belly, and try a few rounds breathing in this way. See how your mental state compares to when you started.
When you feel your stress levels rising, focusing on those exhales can help to tell your nervous system that you are safe and that you can cope with the challenges at hand.
8. USE THE SENSE OF PHYSICAL TOUCH
Feeling gentle sensations on your skin can be very calming for the nervous system. We all have different sensitivity to touch and so you may have your own preference for either very light touch, firm pressure or somewhere in between. Take ticklish feet for example!
There are lots of therapies that involve touch (for example massage, reflexology, having a facial, Bowen therapy), but you can also very quickly use gentle self-massage at no cost at all, such as on your hands and arms. Learning some simple tapping techniques, known as EFT on acupressure points can quickly help to relax yourself also.
Bath and shower time is a great opportunity to bring in the sense of touch, whether it’s the use of a body scrub, taking a few extra minutes to moisturise or using good old mindfulness again to become tuned in to the feeling of water on your skin.
9. GET A COACH
If your stress stems from overwhelm and it’s hard to see a way through it, a coach may be able to help. A coach can work with you in a way that empowers you and helps you to find manageable steps that you can take to get closer to your goals.
There are so many different types of coach, depending on what you need help with. A few examples include health, business, relationship, divorce, life, grief and spiritual coaches. You have every right to make enquiries with a range of coaches before you decide on someone who you feel aligned with and would be a good fit for you.
10. CONSIDER OTHER THERAPIES
If you are chronically stressed and no matter what you do, you feel as though you are destined to be forever on an uphill struggle, this may be a call to action that deeper issues are getting in the way of joy.
We are all mostly operating in autopilot, run by a system (brain) that mostly formed it’s programming when we were young. What tends to happen when we have experiences as a child or teen, is that our brain stores beliefs that were completely appropriate for a child’s mind. But many of the beliefs we have stored no longer serve us, hold us back and create unnecessary misery.
Examples of how these beliefs might manifest include low self-worth, imposter syndrome, people pleasing, generalised anxiety, self-neglect, addictions, depression, emotional eating and difficulty in relationships and friendships.
Experiences in adult life can also create PTSD which often goes undiagnosed, while many people need some help to work through bereavement, loss, experience of discrimination or sudden life changes.
There are a range of styles of therapy that can help you overcome many of the daily challenges that you might be experiencing. If you are worried about opening up and revealing your deepest secrets, there are other ways that a skilled therapist can help you to address your issues. No good therapist will ever make you say or do anything that you do not want to.
Victoria Bell is a Registered Nutritional Therapist, Health Coach, Breathwork Coach and qualified as a Mindfulness Teacher for Children. To enquire about her Women’s Wellbeing Coaching Programme or to get help with IBS or perimenopause you can contact her here or book a free 30-minute Health Review here.